20 February - Week 4

Yet another week has gone by with a few things learnt about myself and the army. The biggest thing that I struggled with this week was my shooting. I failed my first practice shoot this week and felt like I'd let my platoon and myself down. I hadn't been able to apply myself to my shooting because I was wrestling with the fact I was learning to hunt down and kill another person. I don't consider myself a very aggressive person and I've never been in a real fight - "white line fever" aside; even then, I don't really fight or punch on with people. So I find it weird that I would consider killing someone else. I hadn't thought I would be so uncomfortable with this but I've now realised it goes very much against where my values lie. I understand the need to reatliate and to protect those who can't do so for themselves, and I can see the military's role in this, but I don't think it's my role. I only think of other ways to try and do those roles besides the military answer.

So, because I couldn't remain focused while thinking I was trying to kill someone, I had to change this. I now approach the shooting as a sport. This had an immediate effect - I came equal third in the next shoot.

On a lighter note, we got to go on the big obstacle course today. After weeks of learning the specific techniques that we are to use going over the difficult stages, we finally go to apply them. Was really good fun. Our platoon got in trouble for talking when we weren't supposed to and not listening properly, but apart from that, it was good. Running, jumping, dodging, swinging, balnacing, climbing - all that good stuff.

Another pleasant event at Kapooka - we also just got promoted to blue tabs. that means we are one step closer towards getting out of this place and apparently we have some new privileges. I'm still not sure what they are. We get local leave this week, which is awesome and should be fun.

Posted on behalf of MJ Waters